Hi!
I made the music myself using Mixcraft, please be completely honest and tell me if you like it. I've tried my hardest to match moods and such..
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_8kIJ ... sp=sharing
This also contains the narrator of my cartoon. I hope you guys enjoy this!
Music and Narration
Moderators: Víctor Paredes, Belgarath, slowtiger
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TheMinahBird
- Posts: 265
- Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:10 pm
Music and Narration
"Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure" - Lord Byron
Re: Music and Narration
There wasn't enough of anything to give an honest opinion, but the clash of styles made for uncomfortable viewing. What there was of narration and music sounded OK, but the visuals need some work, especially the floaty walking and unconvincing car movements. I suspect this is some sort of taster or trailer, but it's impossible to make out what is going on. I hope this doesn't come across as too negative...!
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
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TheMinahBird
- Posts: 265
- Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:10 pm
Re: Music and Narration
No! It's not like you're lying to make me feel better.
I made it clash because it's supposed to be dark then upbeat, if there is a better way to do this id love to know.
But thank you!
I made it clash because it's supposed to be dark then upbeat, if there is a better way to do this id love to know.
But thank you!
"Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure" - Lord Byron
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TheMinahBird
- Posts: 265
- Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:10 pm
Re: Music and Narration
And by unconvincing you mean from the top? The other cars might look unconvincing from the side because of the style I used to draw them, maybe that's what it is.
I'm so sorry Its really short too and doesn't have enough of much yet.
I'm so sorry Its really short too and doesn't have enough of much yet.
"Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure" - Lord Byron
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hayasidist
- Posts: 3850
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:12 pm
- Location: Kent, England
Re: Music and Narration
I'm guessing that the quadrant in the bottom left (around 10 sec) is meant to be the planet?? but the transition from "space" to "ground" didn't work for me.
The building eating the car, IMO, needed a bit more build up before the pounce; and the woman in the yellow car arrives on screen hiding her face - kinda destroys the "shock" value.
This is a very personal thing - so there really isn't "right" or "wrong", just different approaches... so what I'd do may not at all fit with your plans to develop this, but I'd have a shot list with pretty fast transitions getting faster. So from your 25 sec point (after the closeup of the woman in the blue car) [and BTW the use of the yellow stroke there confuses as to which car you're actually looking at] my first draft plan would be something like:
1: buildings still (2 secs); then slight twitchy - glancing at the approaching cars (2 secs) // soundtrack "calm music"
2: cars approaching (or some passing??) - unaware (2 secs)
3: buildings flex, readying themselves for action having picked out a car (2 secs) // music tension builds
4: cars - focus on the blue target, others soft focus (1 sec)
5: buildings slight "coiling" for action (1 sec) // music now ominous minor chords
6: cars as 4 (.75 sec) then fast zoom to blue target (.25)
7: building (.75 sec) and pounce (.25 sec) // music "scream"
8: yellow car reaction (.5 sec)
9: building flames and eats the blue car (1-1.5 sec as now) // music "crunch"
10: ((what happens to the yellow car? - does it chug on or freeze or turn and run? why was it the blue one that got eaten??))
After a tryout of that sequence I'd probably tweak the shots and timings a bit ...
but, as said, it's your call - whatever you do, if YOU'RE happy with the result that's the main thing.
The building eating the car, IMO, needed a bit more build up before the pounce; and the woman in the yellow car arrives on screen hiding her face - kinda destroys the "shock" value.
This is a very personal thing - so there really isn't "right" or "wrong", just different approaches... so what I'd do may not at all fit with your plans to develop this, but I'd have a shot list with pretty fast transitions getting faster. So from your 25 sec point (after the closeup of the woman in the blue car) [and BTW the use of the yellow stroke there confuses as to which car you're actually looking at] my first draft plan would be something like:
1: buildings still (2 secs); then slight twitchy - glancing at the approaching cars (2 secs) // soundtrack "calm music"
2: cars approaching (or some passing??) - unaware (2 secs)
3: buildings flex, readying themselves for action having picked out a car (2 secs) // music tension builds
4: cars - focus on the blue target, others soft focus (1 sec)
5: buildings slight "coiling" for action (1 sec) // music now ominous minor chords
6: cars as 4 (.75 sec) then fast zoom to blue target (.25)
7: building (.75 sec) and pounce (.25 sec) // music "scream"
8: yellow car reaction (.5 sec)
9: building flames and eats the blue car (1-1.5 sec as now) // music "crunch"
10: ((what happens to the yellow car? - does it chug on or freeze or turn and run? why was it the blue one that got eaten??))
After a tryout of that sequence I'd probably tweak the shots and timings a bit ...
but, as said, it's your call - whatever you do, if YOU'RE happy with the result that's the main thing.
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TheMinahBird
- Posts: 265
- Joined: Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:10 pm
Re: Music and Narration
I'm confused as to why her being scared ruins it? Like the lady in the yellow car? What yellow stroke you mean exactly? Sorry I get confused way to easily.
The yellow one just doesn't get eaten. X) She wasnt close enough.
Can I get more tips on the transitions?
Oh, and yes the quadrant or quarter of the planet in the corner is supposed to be the planet.
The yellow one just doesn't get eaten. X) She wasnt close enough.
Can I get more tips on the transitions?
Oh, and yes the quadrant or quarter of the planet in the corner is supposed to be the planet.
"Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; men love in haste but they detest at leisure" - Lord Byron
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hayasidist
- Posts: 3850
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:12 pm
- Location: Kent, England
Re: Music and Narration
she's in scared pose before the blue car gets eaten - better to show her switch from "calm and just driving" to "scared witless"; slam the brakes on and come to a screaming halt short of the "kill zone" (that's really what I was getting at in my point 10.)TheMinahBird wrote:I'm confused as to why her being scared ruins it? Like the lady in the yellow car?
It's really all about planning ... a good plan will help you assemble shots and soundtrack - I use multiple AS files for the shots, export and then composite; then make any necessary minor tweaks to the music track timing to fine tune hit points (in Sibelius) and put that back into the compositorTheMinahBird wrote: Can I get more tips on the transitions?
.... really didn't do it for me - discontinuity between the grey circle and quadrant and the surfaceTheMinahBird wrote: Oh, and yes the quadrant or quarter of the planet in the corner is supposed to be the planet.