I need viewers!! Check out my second cartoon attempt

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:38 am

It has been a long fought journey but I have finally finished production of my second cartoon short. Practice makes perfect and this cartoon is way better then the first one. I learned some new stuff and it shows on this one. I SERIOUSLY need your help once again, could you be ever so kind as to send the link of the cartoon to your friends (or whoever) in your e-mail address book and have them send the link to there friends and hopefully it will create a ripple effect because the more views my cartoon gets the better.

When content like my cartoon is uploaded to Atom.com, it immediately appears on the site as a "User Video." The top User Videos, as identified by Atom staff and/or the Atom audience get upgraded to "Pro Video" status. The creator is then offered a commercial distribution contract and becomes eligible for a package of benefits that, in total, only Atom can deliver on. That is what I am trying to achieve "Pro Status" so I need as many views and positive comments as possible.

I SERIOUSLY NEED YOUR HELP TO GET AS MANY VIEWS AS POSSIBLE.

HERE IT IS, HIT UP THE LINK A FEW TIMES FOR A BROTHA',
http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/3EFBFF ... 700B75AA7/

synthsin75 · Post by **synthsin75** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:09 am

I, for one, will not be advising anyone to watch this. Sorry, aside from these obnoxious big, bold letter posts, it looks like you used about every character that comes with AS, there is very little actual animation, and too much profanity for its own sake.

On top of all this, is it not funny and the voice work is very bad.

Now, that may be a bit harsh, but I have to assume that I am definitely not the target audience for this.

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:14 am

Thanks for the negative critque. I have seen worse and i'm still new at this whole animation thing. But hey, it is not for everybody.

synthsin75 wrote:I, for one, will not be advising anyone to watch this. Sorry, aside from these obnoxious big, bold letter posts, it looks like you used about every character that comes with AS, there is very little actual animation, and too much profanity for its own sake.

On top of all this, is it not funny and the voice work is very bad.

Now, that may be a bit harsh, but I have to assume that I am definitely not the target audience for this.

Durand · Post by **Durand** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 7:55 am

H.G]. , People will watch things that are funny and original. I think it would be great to get Pro Video status,
but, what you want to do is buy votes (as far as I know only a previous president of USA could do this ) this
will only work in a limited way for you. Funny and original does not mean it has to be complex. So keep trying.

paulcopeland · Post by **paulcopeland** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 12:47 pm

I agree with Synthsin75.

too much profanity and very little animation work.

Paul.

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:26 pm

Well, can't please everybody. I'm gonna keep doing what I like. But thanks for the audio advice.

paulcopeland wrote:I agree with Synthsin75.

too much profanity and very little animation work.

Paul.

Clarence Norty · Post by **Clarence Norty** » Thu May 14, 2009 1:22 am

synthsin75 wrote:I, for one, will not be advising anyone to watch this. Sorry, aside from these obnoxious big, bold letter posts, it looks like you used about every character that comes with AS, there is very little actual animation, and too much profanity for its own sake.

On top of all this, is it not funny and the voice work is very bad.

Now, that may be a bit harsh, but I have to assume that I am definitely not the target audience for this.

Ffffiiin loads of haters on here m8...just keep doing what your doing.....

Clarence Norty · Post by **Clarence Norty** » Thu May 14, 2009 1:25 am

SHROOMS>>>>>got to be.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSI3IIa7 ... re=related

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Thu May 14, 2009 2:23 pm

Thanks for the positive feed back. I can take constructive critcism even though some people can be harsh. I guess that is the way the world goes round, haters will hate. I will keep doing what i am doing because it is what I love to do.

mkelley · Post by **mkelley** » Thu May 14, 2009 3:26 pm

Hmmm, it says volumes when the only person who likes your work also has yet to do anything very interesting with AS.

I'm actually of two minds here -- part of me kind of agrees with you that you should try and remain true to your own vision and do what you like (and part of me recognizes that gaining approval sometimes means listening to others' advice and getting altering your views). But if you're going to ignore the advice of others you had better develop a thick skin and realize that not every one who dislikes your work is a "hater" (I know, that wasn't you, but it's meant to be illustratory).

As for your work -- my own take isn't so much about the language (which used properly can be quite funny -- see any of Richard Pryor's live concerts for examples) but about both your animation and the story. The story is facile and unfunny, and the animation is *way* too slow for this kind of thing (the black guy running has about the proper pace, but if you're going for a one-trick pony sort of joke you need to cut this mutha by about 80% and tell this in 10 or 15 seconds at the most). Trust me -- your target audience (the Robot Chicken crowd) will not even watch all the way through.

Finally, the voice work is extremely poor -- I suspect you used friends or did it yourself, but with animation this simple the voice is *everything* (IOW, the better the animation, the more you can get away with poor voice work -- with minimal animation your voice work needs to be stellar). This sounded as if it were recorded in a barrel by a guy or two who cared so little for the project they phoned it in. Here's a good test -- when you do a voice track it should stand on its own -- play it for some folks (yep, even some friends) and see if they understand what is happening and enjoy it without seeing any animation. Once again, this test isn't an absolute depending on your animation skills, but at your level (and I completely understand -- my own efforts aren't so good either) the audio MUST carry the day.

If you get *anyone* to actually email this to their friends I'll be amazed (other than the folks who worked on it. Oh, and perhaps your friends :>)

synthsin75 · Post by **synthsin75** » Thu May 14, 2009 9:59 pm

cut this mutha

See, now that's funny. Didn't even use course language, but in the context of bad language being over used, is very funny.

Just curious. I assume you and your friends normally speak in strings of expletives, much like you characters. If so, how do you guys emphasize anything? Is there a specific order of profanities that mean something more than the usual use? Do I need a decoder ring?

kphgraphics · Post by **kphgraphics** » Fri May 15, 2009 7:24 am

synthsin75 wrote:
cut this mutha
See, now that's funny. Didn't even use course language, but in the context of bad language being over used, is very funny.

Just curious. I assume you and your friends normally speak in strings of expletives, much like you characters. If so, how do you guys emphasize anything? Is there a specific order of profanities that mean something more than the usual use? Do I need a decoder ring?

If you where trying to tell a joke here, stick to you animations.

To the original poster of this thread, watch some of the boondocks cartoons and studio that.

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Fri May 15, 2009 3:40 pm

mkelley wrote:Hmmm, it says volumes when the only person who likes your work also has yet to do anything very interesting with AS.

I'm actually of two minds here -- part of me kind of agrees with you that you should try and remain true to your own vision and do what you like (and part of me recognizes that gaining approval sometimes means listening to others' advice and getting altering your views). But if you're going to ignore the advice of others you had better develop a thick skin and realize that not every one who dislikes your work is a "hater" (I know, that wasn't you, but it's meant to be illustratory).

As for your work -- my own take isn't so much about the language (which used properly can be quite funny -- see any of Richard Pryor's live concerts for examples) but about both your animation and the story. The story is facile and unfunny, and the animation is *way* too slow for this kind of thing (the black guy running has about the proper pace, but if you're going for a one-trick pony sort of joke you need to cut this mutha by about 80% and tell this in 10 or 15 seconds at the most). Trust me -- your target audience (the Robot Chicken crowd) will not even watch all the way through.

Finally, the voice work is extremely poor -- I suspect you used friends or did it yourself, but with animation this simple the voice is *everything* (IOW, the better the animation, the more you can get away with poor voice work -- with minimal animation your voice work needs to be stellar). This sounded as if it were recorded in a barrel by a guy or two who cared so little for the project they phoned it in. Here's a good test -- when you do a voice track it should stand on its own -- play it for some folks (yep, even some friends) and see if they understand what is happening and enjoy it without seeing any animation. Once again, this test isn't an absolute depending on your animation skills, but at your level (and I completely understand -- my own efforts aren't so good either) the audio MUST carry the day.

If you get *anyone* to actually email this to their friends I'll be amazed (other than the folks who worked on it. Oh, and perhaps your friends :>)

I know my cartoon is not professional by any means, i know the sound is not the greatest thing since sliced bread, i know i got a lot to learn about the art of story/joke telling. I'm going to school as we speak to learn how to better my animation. This is a one man show and I am still learning and trying to better myself. I cannot afford high end equipment so I work with what I got and it is not much. The cartoons I submit are just practice runs and the more I do that the better I will get. But point taken. Keep a quick joke quick without all the other stuff in between.

I have seen worse and they got better feedback but that's the life of an artist.

I am teaching myself how to get the sound quality of my audio better. And I agree, a voice track should stand on it's own because the visual can be built around the audio and that is exactly what I did. My skin is thicker then a Rhino's and I have taken advice and critcism but I can't make everybody happy and I will stay true to my vision at any cost. Thanks for the comment.

H.G. DaGr8One · Post by **H.G. DaGr8One** » Fri May 15, 2009 4:34 pm

synthsin75 wrote:
cut this mutha
See, now that's funny. Didn't even use course language, but in the context of bad language being over used, is very funny.

Just curious. I assume you and your friends normally speak in strings of expletives, much like you characters. If so, how do you guys emphasize anything? Is there a specific order of profanities that mean something more than the usual use? Do I need a decoder ring?

1. Curiousity killed the cat.

2. You know what they say about those who ASSume.

3. Just because my cartoon had some profanity does not mean that it carries over into my real life, much. Why so serious? You must be older then dirt and uptight about something. There are many forms of expression and what one chooses to do or say to express themselves is just that, choice. The audience i'm trying to reach is that of Comedy Central or the Cartoon Network's [adult swim] variety. It is clearly not for YOU and people like you and that is cool because the world is diverse.

4. You need to get that stick surgically removed from your ASSumption, Pop Sickle Synthsin 75.

5. Being closed minded will keep you in the box.

Acochran_89 · Post by **Acochran_89** » Fri May 15, 2009 6:19 pm

I love comedy central AND adult swim I personally thought your cartoon sucked...sorry to be so blunt about it but seriously. You're still using the default characters that come with the program and there is hardly any animation at all and the story line is non existent. Keep trying though you'll get better, maybe. But the ONLY way that's going to happen is if you actually listen when people tell you things that can be better. Your friends going..oh man that's awesome.. doesn't count. A lot of people on here know what they are talking about. We all make cartoons. We've all seen what you're trying to go for. But if you come on here, post your stuff, and just demand that people watch it then bottom line is you're going to get a negative response. You're original post is really demanding. You don't just ask people to watch it you tell them to. What the hell is up with that? And then after we watch it, if we actually take the time to, you give us garbage? And then refuse to change anything and just call us all haters or say i guess its not for you then or Oh i can't please everyone. Who ARE you pleasing? Because I seriously doubt that cartoon pleases ANYONE. So, maybe stop being so rude, listen to the advise people give, and then come back and ASK us to watch.

just my two cents on this whole thread

Acochran_89