Can I get feedback on a project?
Moderators: Víctor Paredes, Belgarath, slowtiger
Can I get feedback on a project?
Hi everyone. I've been working on this project for over half a year, and it's basically done as far as the client is concerned. But I want to do more with the project so I can use it to get more work. I know there are plenty of things that can be done better here. What would you say is the most important thing I can improve on to attract the attention of potential clients or employers?
Edit: Also, as far as I know, all the "dialogue" in the video is gibberish, recorded by Japanese voice actors. So don't think knowing the language will help with viewing comprehension.
Thanks!
Jim
Re: Can I get feedback on a project?
This is already very very good!
OK, feedback, with much of my personal taste:
- The whole thing is too long. Maybe this was the client's requirement, but I'm bored fast once I got the idea.
- The human noises are annoying. Again, client's orders, but much less would've been better. Matter of taste, anyway.
- The moving company is a bit unnecessary, and the spatial relationship a bit confusing. Maybe the first shot at 0:12 should also contain a bit of Granny's fence, blurred.
- Delete shot at 0:14. Sequence should be: van - granny waving - movers noticing. Would be nice if one could point to granny.
- The shot where the girl runs out of her room should be mirrored to maintain the direction of action.
- I think Granny's fall could be improved a bit - it's worth to spend time here since it's used multiple times.
1: her walk should be less smoothly, more like fast step - stand and pause - next step - stand and pause.
2. the stumbling foot is too smooth as well, it must be stopped more abruptly.
3. she must lean forward more at the stumble moment.
4. it would help to flail her arms when she realizes she's lost her balance
5. that fall itself could be 1 or 2 frames faster. Making it a bit more comical makes the impact more convincing.
- I think the text inserts could be designed a bit better - different. Especially the one with the running girl - get rid of the speed lines. "Imagine ..." should be placed higher as to not interfer with characters.
- Since girl at night and waking up are the same shoot, I think some wipe would be nice - or even an additional shot of the sun rising above roofs (which would tie in nicely to the switch scene).
- The last 3 shots in Granny's house could be connected with camera moves instead of cuts.
but other than that - more than just nice! Extremely good character and background design, harmonic choice of colours, everything is clear without words.
OK, feedback, with much of my personal taste:
- The whole thing is too long. Maybe this was the client's requirement, but I'm bored fast once I got the idea.
- The human noises are annoying. Again, client's orders, but much less would've been better. Matter of taste, anyway.
- The moving company is a bit unnecessary, and the spatial relationship a bit confusing. Maybe the first shot at 0:12 should also contain a bit of Granny's fence, blurred.
- Delete shot at 0:14. Sequence should be: van - granny waving - movers noticing. Would be nice if one could point to granny.
- The shot where the girl runs out of her room should be mirrored to maintain the direction of action.
- I think Granny's fall could be improved a bit - it's worth to spend time here since it's used multiple times.
1: her walk should be less smoothly, more like fast step - stand and pause - next step - stand and pause.
2. the stumbling foot is too smooth as well, it must be stopped more abruptly.
3. she must lean forward more at the stumble moment.
4. it would help to flail her arms when she realizes she's lost her balance
5. that fall itself could be 1 or 2 frames faster. Making it a bit more comical makes the impact more convincing.
- I think the text inserts could be designed a bit better - different. Especially the one with the running girl - get rid of the speed lines. "Imagine ..." should be placed higher as to not interfer with characters.
- Since girl at night and waking up are the same shoot, I think some wipe would be nice - or even an additional shot of the sun rising above roofs (which would tie in nicely to the switch scene).
- The last 3 shots in Granny's house could be connected with camera moves instead of cuts.
but other than that - more than just nice! Extremely good character and background design, harmonic choice of colours, everything is clear without words.
AS 9.5 MacPro Quadcore 3GHz 16GB OS 10.6.8 Quicktime 7.6.6
AS 11 MacPro 12core 3GHz 32GB OS 10.11 Quicktime 10.7.3
Moho 13.5 iMac Quadcore 2,9GHz 16GB OS 10.15
Moho 14.1 Mac Mini M2 Pro OS 13.7.6
AS 11 MacPro 12core 3GHz 32GB OS 10.11 Quicktime 10.7.3
Moho 13.5 iMac Quadcore 2,9GHz 16GB OS 10.15
Moho 14.1 Mac Mini M2 Pro OS 13.7.6
Re: Can I get feedback on a project?
Thanks Slowtiger,
I'll take these into consideration! I have a lot to work on, it seems! I may even start posting my progress somewhere...
As far as character, background, and color design, the only credit I can take for that is hiring a good illustrator!
https://www.instagram.com/kaaileen_/
Well, back to work!
Jim
I'll take these into consideration! I have a lot to work on, it seems! I may even start posting my progress somewhere...
As far as character, background, and color design, the only credit I can take for that is hiring a good illustrator!
https://www.instagram.com/kaaileen_/
Well, back to work!
Jim