Moho Forum

[youtube] http://youtu.be/OGOfXcPhYzM [/youtube]

A small sample from a pilot for my upcomming Cartoon.

Could use all the constructive criticism I can get the finest possible product possible.

The first half has a few clips that are similar to a previous post. It has no sound yet

The second half is what the majority of the cartoon will look and sound like


WATCH IN HD FOR BEST PICTURE

(If any one is interested in joining in on the adventure of making this series, contact me at tyrian.sun.animations@gmail.com. Im looking for voice actors, landscape designers, audio producers, and character designers)

There are some really cool parts like the rotating rabbit, the rabbit traveling through space with the ears flapping and particle effects, dragon scenes, human-like character, and forest scenery. But there are also slower and somewhat repetitive parts. For example, in the first 30 seconds it doesn't seem like anything is happening. And overall, I'm not sure what is going on. I think one of the most useful things I've read about animation was that the biggest enemies of telling a good story are boredom and confusion (from Francis Glebas's Directing the Story). I think you've got a great start and visual style, but you either have to show lots of visually stunning stuff right away or have a clear, interesting story to draw in viewers. Or course, once the audio is added to the first half that should help a lot.

Thanks! Yah, the intro direly needs audio and music. I think you're right. I like your observation and il do my best that I dont let it happen!

I think I said wtf is going on like 40 times in this animation, but in a good way. that almost drove me insane, in, a good way.

FeeblyWeebly wrote:I think I said wtf is going on like 40 times in this animation, but in a good way. that almost drove me insane, in, a good way.

Haha, thanks man. Glad you got an experience from it xD

Definitely looks surreal. I couldn't tell if the wiggly lines around some of the early characters were intentional or a compositing artifact?

Danimal wrote:Definitely looks surreal. I couldn't tell if the wiggly lines around some of the early characters were intentional or a compositing artifact?

Yeah, the edge on the rabbit is kinda like flowing fur and the the Dragon is supposed to look like he doesn't belong. Good observations!